My English isn’t English
So here I am. England. I have discovered I need to learn to speak English.
All over again.
Brilliant.
Here are a few words and catch phrases I have learned thus far, followed by their translation into Canadian English:
→ In the UK: No Fly-Tipping!
¬ What I thought it meant: Actually, I hadn’t a clue what it meant. It was posted on a fence near a golf course. In Canada we have cow-tipping, but who would bother tipping a fly?? Seriously.
→ In Canada: Don’t dump your trash here!
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→ In the UK: Hire a skip.
¬ What I thought it meant: Hire someone to steer the boat or be on our curling team. I couldn’t figure out why The Boy would want to hire a skip - we don’t own a boat and we don’t curl.
→ In Canada: Rent a dumpster.
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→ In Canada: French fries
¬ What I thought it meant: Chips. As in potato chips. The fries here are . . . thick and not paticularly crispy. Pale. Come to think of it, even though it is against my religion to frequent the den of iniquity that is McDonald’s, I shall have to do so at some point, to see if their fries are as - um - thick, pale and limp as what we get at the local “chippy” (place where they sell fish and chips). I bet they aren’t. I bet McDonald’s fries here are skinny and crispy like they are in Canada. Who knows. I may really step over the line and spring for a 1/4 pounder while I am at it.
A note on the British fries (chips), The Boy says he is confident I will “grow to love these monstrosities masquerading as french fries as much as the locals”. I remain skeptical.
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→ In the UK: Garden
→ In Canada: Backyard
¬ What I thought it meant: A place where you plant vegetables. Or flowers. Turns out that even if it is all grass it is still called the “garden”. A backyard or yard in England, on the other hand, is used to denote a place where you have equipment or vehicles. And for the record, most backyards in England are the size of a postage stamp. Scary. Mine isn’t though. Mine is actually quite big 
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Brilliant post! Oh the memories this brought back to me of when I first arrived here! Actually, saying that, some of that still drives me crazy, lol. Look forward to reading some more of your posts.
My Dear Kitty,
Seems I have stumbled upon your latest. How I got here I am not quite certain. Mind you I was thoroughly entertained when I did arrive.
Reading your English is not English entry reminds me of my two encounters with the Queen’s English. As a wee one growing up in the wilds of Albert County I called “French Fries” chips. Why I don’t know exactly, must be my English heritage possibly. I was out for a drive with my Friend and his family one day and the stopped at Maples canteen for “pop and chips”. I never got my “fries” that day, but I did get some Humpty Dumpty “chips”.
The second encounter came at a much later time in my life at UNB. You see there was this really cute girl from Wolverhampton. Her name was Rachael. While out for a walk I made reference to her fanny. Ask “The Boy” about the definition for fanny. I learned that night it had two meanings.
Wishing you and “The Boy” all our best.
Grant
Awesome idea to do a blog! My Favorite of yours from the “My English isn’t English” is the “Hire a skip”. I would have though the same as you. LOL Keep those English sayings/words coming. I love em’. (o:
Cora
No fly-tipping?! Now how did they ever relate that to its actual meaning?! Good grief! Very informative! I wish you luck in learning your new language. You’ll be able to translate for me, when I visit